Chapter Two

“In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live. Make mistakes. Have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are. Where you have been. And most importantly where it is you're going.”

-Unknown

On July 20, 2013, my life began again. I was given a rare second chance. Life decided to take a complete turn. At the time, I thought life was playing a sick joke. Never would I have imagined I would end up where I was. I felt like I was living a complete out of body experience. I was watching myself go through hell and back. I can’t count the number of times over the past few years I prayed I would wake up and it would have just been a dream nightmare. I was, or I at least I thought I was, trapped.

While I am not ready to tell the world about the past few years, I am loving sharing my present and future. The future is a beautiful thing. I believe in fate but I believe that our actions now eventually lead us to where we belong. While I have made countless mistakes, many of which I am embarrassed and ashamed by, I do not regret them. Without those mistakes, I would not be where I am today. I would not be as strong as I am today. And I would not have the knowledge and strength I have today, which I am often told is far beyond my years.

I have always been a dreamer. I would fantasize about a life other than my own. I would search for happiness in places I didn’t belong. But it is amazing how in a split second that can completely change. I don’t know what exactly happened to me that night, but something in my soul changed. I found a new found confidence and strength. I understood that I didn’t need to rely on others for my happiness. I found a love for myself that allowed me to put myself first and be a little selfish at times. I was always trying to please others, never myself. I have always believed that kindness and compassion are two of the most important qualities in anyone, what I didn’t realize is that you also have to learn kindness and compassion towards yourself.

I have learned that life is a journey and you can never know for certain what comes next. I have learned what true happiness is. I have learned that true friends are hard to find, but when you do, you will know. I have learned that it is okay to let go. I have learned how to ask for help. I have learned that there are very few people in this world you can trust with all your heart, and that is okay. I have learned that we all make mistakes, and I will be judged for them and that is okay too. I can’t change how others view me, but I can forgive myself. I have learned to be kinder and smile more. Even on my darkest days, there is always someone going through something worse than I am. I have learned to enjoy the happy times and simplest of moments, because life is a beautiful gift. I don’t know where life will take me next, but where ever I go, I know I can handle it. Even if it is just one step at a time, I can do anything.