Granny Square Pillow

Does anyone else ever have a problem finishing a project? I was going to make this into a blanket but got bored so I quickly stitched it up into a pillow! No pattern, but it is a pretty basic granny!

The Dirty Secrets of Weight Loss

Over a year has passed since I began my fitness journey. I can't believe how far I have come not only in regards to my health, but also my personal life...

I have been truly blessed with this amazing man in my life. Not only is he my biggest supporter, but my best friend!

I. You have to let go & forgive. Enjoy your "you" time.  

     A. Before you can transform your lifestyle, you have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. Working out and eating healthy should never be a punishment, it should be a reward. You are letting your body do what it was designed to do. You are letting your body be healthy and strong. You are treating your body with the respect you deserve. If you look at working out like it is a punishment for eating an extra slice of pizza or a scoop of ice cream, you will always dread working out. Forgive yourself for eating junk or skipping a run. Seriously, is that really what you should be stressing out about? Instead, focus your energy on the positive. Okay, so you didn't eat great today, but your took the stairs or parked further away. Creating a healthy lifestyle is a process, it doesn't just happen over night. If it was an easy fix, everyone would be doing it.
     B. Find what works for you. When I first began running, I would run to fast pop songs. I was never able to get into the "zone." One day, I realized that running is my escape. My relaxation time. My zen. So I switched it up to classical and jazz, and guess what? The day I did that was the first time I ran 6.5 miles. (Before that, I was barely hitting 3 miles!) Just because Pinterest says it is the "top workout song" does not mean it is right for you. Try all sorts of things, and give each new workout a few chances. I used to hate running, and now I look forward to it!
     C. Let go of the stress and workout for yourself. Don't do it for a man (or woman.) Don't do it to make an ex regret what he is missing out on (although that is a great bonus!) Do it for you. Write down 5 reasons you want to get fit, just for you, and keep it somewhere that you will see it every day.

          1. To feel confident. 

          2. To give my tattoos the canvas they deserve. 

          3. To prove to myself that I can finish what I start. 

          4. To finally feel comfortable enough to wear a bikini. 

          5. To not feel winded when I take the stairs. 

II. People will judge you. F**k their opinion.

     A. There will always be haters. Get over it. Don't let their opinions get you down. I will never forget the time someone said "Oh, you are one of those health freaks." Excuse me? Does my diet affect you in any way? No. Does it really bother you that I wear yoga pants daily? It shouldn't. If one more person tells me that "Yoga pants aren't real pants," don't be surprised if I totally lose my s**t. I earn that right every time I complete a leg day. I earn that right every time I take another step and run another mile. I shouldn't even have to explain myself. I don't make rude comments about you eating fast food daily, please don't make comments about my meals or how much water I drink in a day.
     B. Sometimes, the people who should be your biggest supporters become your biggest enemies. When I first began my fitness journey, I was in a very unhealthy relationship. At the end of the day, I would always be asked, "So now that you are getting fit, are you going to leave me?" or "You were at the gym for a long time, are you cheating on me?" These negative comments stem from other's insecurities. In fact, it is a form of mental and emotional abuse. Choosing to be healthy is an amazing thing and if those around you can't support you, there is a good chance you don't need them in your life.

III. You don't see it. 

     A. Even after I lost 25 pounds, I didn't see it. When I would look in the mirror, I would still see the old me that was was reaching the overweight category. Unfortunately, this stemmed from an eating disorder. When I first began my journey, I just wanted to be skinny. I was eating less than 1,000 calories a day. Eventually, I reached my lowest weight, 110 pounds. I was miserable. I would cry when I went ten calories over my daily limit. My stomach growling would keep me up at night. I obsessed over calorie counting and planning my day around food. I wasn't living. Finally, it hit me. What the hell was I doing? Wouldn't I rather be able to kick someone's ass instead of being the damsel in distress? While I still battle with my body image, over the past year, it has become so much easier. I am eating over 2,000 calories. Working out 3-5 times a week. And I couldn't be happier. I'd prefer to be a size 5 and toned over a size 0 and weak any day.

Left: 115lbs. and miserable, spring 2013.
Right: 125lbs, never happier, spring 2014.

Whether you are beginning your fitness journey or it has been your lifestyle for a while, I wish you the best of luck. I do not claim to be an expert, but if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me at emilydilldenton@gmail.com. Please feel free to add your own dirty secrets about weight loss in the comment box below!

xoxo,
Emily

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